


Don't Let Me Down

by Raynecloud254



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2018-07-26 02:42:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7556959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raynecloud254/pseuds/Raynecloud254
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"If you don't speak up about where the others are hiding, you will die and it will be painful and everyone in the kingdom will hear your screams."</p><p>Clarke laughed, half hysterical, and met the Kings eyes defiantly. "At least I'll die knowing I kept my promises."</p><p>King Wallace shook his head. "You're not a hero Clarke. You are only slowing us down momentarily. My army will find your coven, and they will kill every single heathen in sight. You are willing to die for nothing."</p><p>"You won't find them. I know that. So kill me and end this."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Preface

The sun was just beginning to slip behind the mountains as Clarke came running out of the forest, her blonde hair flying wildly behind her. She had lost track of time while picking herbs, and she knew her mother would be furious if Clarke came home after dark. The woods were not a safe place once the sun was gone, especially for witches. Clarke was working on a believable excuse to give when she arrived, however, her mother was not standing outside with her hands on her hips when the small cabin came into view. Abigail Griffin was on the side of the horse path, speaking to a man and a young girl that Clarke had never seen before. Clarke studied them from where she stood in the garden, hoping to go unnoticed as she listened to her mother speaking in a hushed voice. The man, who appeared to be only a few years older than her fifteen years, had a grim expression on his dirty face, and his dark hair was a mess of curls and twigs.

“I can only promise your sisters safety if you promise our own in return Bellamy. I’ll look after her like I would my own daughter, but you have to keep your men off of my land. They can’t be sniffing around here, especially since they will recognize Octavia.” 

Bellamy stared down at the girl, a pained and terrified look in his eyes. “I can’t make any promises Abi, I have to follow the Kings orders, but I’ll do what I can.”

Clarke’s mother nodded and placed her hand on the girls’ cheek. Octavia cast a wide-eyed glance up at Bellamy, biting her lip when it began to quiver. Clarke felt a pang in her chest, realizing that Octavia might never see Bellamy again. She hung her head for a brief second before making her way over to them, offering Octavia a reassuring smile. Clarke could feel Bellamy’s eyes on her as she wrapped an arm around Octavia. She met Bellamy’s stare then, feeling a jolt zip through her body. There was a warning in his dark eyes telling her that nothing was to happen to his sister; it made her uneasy but she narrowed her own eyes at him. How dare he try to intimidate her, he didn’t even know her! The longer he held her gaze, the more Clarke’s blood boiled, and it wasn’t until she heard a clap of thunder that Clarke realized she was drawing in a storm.

“Come on, I’ll make you some tea.” Clarke said gently, shaking herself slightly. 

Octavia hesitated for a moment longer, and then she dipped her head and allowed Clarke to lead her to the cabin. After Clarke had helped her wash up, Octavia sat in silence while Clarke puttered around the kitchen fixing up a mixture of herbs to help ease the young girls nerves. Clarke felt Octavia’s feather light gaze on her back and she shot a smile over her shoulder.

“Are you a witch?” She wondered quietly when Clarke handed her a cup of tea.

Clarke grinned and sat back in her chair. “Yes I am.”

Octavia sighed in relief, taking a small sip from her cup. “My mother was, but she died a few years ago. She got really sick after falling through the ice on a frozen pond.”

“Where you born with magic or was it passed to you after your mother died?” Clarke asked curiously. 

“She passed it on to me.” Octavia answered with a sad smile. “She was born with it though, had the mark and everything.”

Clarke sat there in awe. Witches born with magic were a rare occurrence since most children only had one parent with the gift. Many witches and wizards married humans; it gave their children a better chance at life. “She must have been incredible. My mom knew her you know. They were part of the same coven growing up, before the King had all of the covens hunted and destroyed.”

“That’s why my brother brought me here. He knew that Abi would take care of me and teach me how to control my magic. Bellamy knew I would be safe here.”

“He seems like a real ass to me.” Clarke muttered, rolling her eyes.

Octavia laughed and shook her head. “Well, you’re not wrong. But he’s always been really protective over me, and I can understand why.”

Clarke snorted. “His seemingly lack of faith in my mother and I is rather insulting.”

“But you’ve never had to protect someone you care about. I’m all he has left Clarke.”

Though Octavia was young, and her voice was soft, Clarke could hear the condescending tone in her words, and she sounded much older than thirteen in that moment. Clarke sighed, feeling ashamed of how judgmental she’d been. Octavia was right; she couldn’t understand what Bellamy was going through, as she had never been in his situation before. 

“Well, he doesn’t need to worry. You’re safe with us.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three years later

“Mom it isn’t safe to go into the village anymore. There have been six more burnings in the last week, who knows how many other killings have taken place.” Clarke sighed as her mother pulled her cloak around her shoulders. “The King is getting desperate, Bellamy said so the last time he was here. It isn’t safe for us to be there.”

Abi patted Clarke’s cheek lovingly and headed towards the door. “She wants to see him Clarke, and you know she will just go on her own anyway.”

“Then cast a holding spell on the farm!” Clarke shouted, causing a thick static to fill the small kitchen.

“Like a holding spell would stop me.” Octavia muttered, lacing her boots.

Clarke shot her a murderous glare before turning her attention back to her mother. “This isn’t a good idea.”

Outside it was cold and muddy. Winter was only a few weeks away, so naturally the Kingdom of Arkadia was miserable. Even Clarke’s horse Jupiter was reluctant to leave the stable. Octavia smirked as she mounted the mare and waited for Clarke to join her; it took every ounce of her will power to keep from zapping her with a stun spell. She knew exactly how the meeting would go. Her mother would disappear to the market, leaving Clarke to deal with a very furious Bellamy, who would shout at both her and Octavia for being foolish enough to risk visiting the village. At least this time it would already be raining, so a storm wouldn’t draw attention. Sometimes Clarke thought that Bellamy enjoyed yelling at her, Octavia surely found it amusing. Clarke could never let him be angry at her, so as soon as he started barking at her, Clarke would bark right back until they were both blue in the face and people were staring; she was positive that was the only reason Octavia insisted on going to see Bellamy at least once a week, although she claimed it was easier for them to go to him. 

“Tell Bellamy that I’ll be by after I’m finished at the market. I’ll even make us all something to eat if he has any food in that shack of his.” Abi teased once they reached village wall.

Octavia laughed and waved as they went their separate ways; Clarke felt like she might heave. Her mother shouldn’t be going anywhere alone. The knot in her stomach wound itself tighter and tighter as Jupiter walked down the familiar path to Bellamy’s house. Octavia was practically bouncing with excitement behind her, and she was off the horse and at the door before Clarke had even tied Jupiter to the post. It did make her smile to see Octavia so happy, but she still couldn’t shake the sick feeling in her stomach. Clarke followed Octavia inside, holding back laughter at Octavia’s giddiness. 

“O?” Bellamy called from the room above them. Clarke’s ears pricked curiously, he sounded off.   
“Who else would it be?” Octavia chuckled, hanging her cloak on the back of the door. “Why don’t you come down here and say hi?”

There was a shuffling sound, then a loud crash followed by a moan. Clarke was halfway up the stairs before she had consciously decided to move, Octavia right behind her. She was met at the top of the stairs by a foul smell, and upon peering into the room she saw the source. Bellamy lay on his stomach, showing off the festering wound on his back. It ran from his right shoulder all the way down to his left hip; it looked like the mark of a whip. Clarke heard Octavia gag and cough but her attention was focused on Bellamy and the infection. Taking a deep breath through her mouth, Clarke squared her shoulders and knelt down next to Bellamy to get a closer look at the damage. He let out a strangled moan when she rested her hand on his good shoulder, and rolled his head to look at her. 

“You guys shouldn’t be here.” He managed to choke out.

Clarke bit back a snide remark and looked up to Octavia. “I need you to go and boil some water for me. I’ll need some clean rags, and my bag.” Octavia stood there, eyes wide and hands over her nose and mouth. She was shaking visibly from head to toe and her face was getting paler by the second. “Octavia! I need you to focus!”

The other girl jumped and shook her head a few times before spinning and running downstairs. Once Clarke was sure she was out of earshot, she took a shaky breath and turned back to the wound. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Shut up.” Clarke ground out, weaving her hands through the air. 

“What are you doing?” Bellamy wondered, watching her closely.

Clarke breathed out and placed her hands on his back, careful not to touch the injury. Right on cue, the magic kicked in, and Bellamy sighed in relief while Clarke clenched her jaw as her back began to throb. Even though she’d only taken on half, the pain made her dizzy. “Making it bearable.”

“Okay I’ve got the water and your bag.” Octavia panted, crouching down beside them.

Fighting to keep her expression neutral, Clarke motioned for Octavia to move closer. “There is lavender root in the pocket on the side, you need to crush some. There should be a few cloves of garlic in there too, crush that up and mix it together with the Echinacea oil.”

“Got it.” Octavia set to work while Clarke fought against the dizziness that was making her nauseous. “Now what do I do?”

“Wrap the mix in a rag and soak it in the water for a minute, then spread the poultice over the wound.” Clarke murmured, feeling faint.

Octavia sucked in a breath and shook her head. “I can’t Clarke.”

Clarke met Octavia’s eyes and blinked slowly, mustering up the strength to speak. “Octavia, I’m reducing Bellamy’s pain. I can’t move my hands or else the magic won’t work. You have to do this or the infection will spread to his heart and Bellamy will die.”

“Will this hurt him?” Octavia whimpered, dipping the rag in the water.

Clarke felt her chin head roll forward and she struggled to keep her eyes open. “Only a little bit. You need to do it now though, my magic is draining fast.”

Octavia bit her lip and began spreading the hot poultice over the wound. Both Bellamy and Clarke winced in pain; Clarke let a groan slip past her lips. It was agony like she had never felt before, not even when she had helped her mother set Octavia’s broken arm the winter before. She was seeing stars, vaguely aware of Octavia calling her name or her head hitting the floor. Clarke heard the deep rumble that could only be Bellamy’s voice, felt cold hands on her face, and the pain receded. There was a roaring in her ears, and she was light headed but at least the pain was gone. She didn’t open her eyes right away, Clarke knew that the room would be spinning and she didn’t feel like being sick on Bellamy’s floor.

“Clarke? Clarke honey, can you hear me?” She heard her mother ask.

Clarke pursed her lips. “I’m here mom.”

There were several sighs of relief, and she thought she heard Bellamy utter a profanity, which made her lips twitch up into a half smile. “What happened?” Octavia wondered.

Clarke opened her eyes slowly, wiggling her fingers to get the blood flowing. She glanced around; eyes landing on her mothers’ distressed face, and she cracked a small smile. “I’m fine mom.”

“You fainted.” Bellamy deadpanned, offering her a hand up. She was glad to see that he had some color in his face.

“It happens sometimes when I use too much magic, especially if I’m taking on someone else’s suffering. Drains me pretty fast.” Clarke shrugged, checking him over for any more injuries.

Bellamy nodded haltingly. “Does that happen to Octavia too?”

“No, I’m not a weakling.” Octavia tittered jokingly.

Clarke chuckled and stuck out her tongue. Rubbing a tight spot in her neck, she glanced at her mother. “We should probably head home before it gets dark.”

Abi peaked a side look at Bellamy and pursed her lips, she walked over to the stairs and then she turned her gaze back to Clarke. “I think we’ll stay here tonight. I’d like to be sure the infection isn’t spreading, it was almost to his lungs before you fixed him up.”

Bellamy groaned in annoyance, moving gingerly across the room to follow Abi and Octavia downstairs. Clarke wanted to do the same, but her mother was right, they needed to be sure that the wound was healing properly. With a sigh, Clarke snatched her bag from the floor, carefully tucking her herbs and oils into it. Bellamy stood there watching her every move until Clarke finally met his stare with an exasperated look. He didn’t shy away from her gaze, only folded his arms over his chest and tilted his head back a little.

“What?” She asked, taking the same stance defensively. 

“How do you do it?” He wondered, looking her up and down. “Take away someone’s pain like that?”

Clarke, baffled by the sincere curiosity in his voice, nearly choked on her tongue. It took her a moment to regain her composure; she had never witnessed this side of Bellamy. There was no mistrust, or dislike in his eyes, simply curiosity; it astounded her. “I use my energy to draw it out. It passes through me, then is released back into the universe.”

Bellamy’s brow creased and he chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment, working through her explanation. “Does it hurt?”

“I feel whatever pain the other person is feeling…emotional or physical.”

Bellamy let out a huff of air that could have been a laugh, had there been a smile on his lips, but the walls were back up and the wonder in his eyes was gone. He dipped his head and started down the stairs. 

“Lucky you.” She heard him mumble.

Clarke remained upstairs for a while longer, reflecting back on the events that had taken place. It had shaken her. Bellamy’s emotions had rushed at her like an ocean wave and knocked the wind right out of her. It was unnerving; understanding Bellamy on such a level, when the most civil conversation they had ever had was five minutes ago. She wondered if he was thinking the same, as she crept into the kitchen where everyone was busy cutting vegetables, slicing meat, or stirring something in the pot over the fire. The sight brought a smile to Clarke’s face; as dysfunctional as they were, this was her family. She walked over and planted a quick kiss on Octavia’s head before setting to work on mincing some garlic.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this didn't turn out quite how i wanted it to

Clarke woke early from a restless sleep, sighing when she saw that the sky was still dark. It was the same thing every night lately; she would jolt awake with the worst feeling in the pit of her stomach, almost making her sick. Running a hand through her sweat dampened hair, Clarke drew in a shaky breath and carefully stood up, watching Octavia’s sleeping face to be sure she hadn’t disturbed her. The house was silent, save Bellamy’s soft snores that echoed down the narrow staircase, and it made her uneasy. Nothing should be so quiet. Clarke tip toed to the small table in the kitchen and flopped down in one of the rickety old chairs, cradling her head in her hands. She felt her eyes prickling, threatening her with tears; Clarke didn’t know why she was crying. She wanted to blame it on the lack of sleep the past few nights, but it ran deeper than simply being tired. As if on cue, Clarke felt a ripple throughout her body, a shudder in her magic. Clarke pressed her fist to her mouth to muffle a whimper. She sat rigid at the table, biting her knuckles to keep quiet, and praying for the feeling to pass. Outside, thunder rumbled in the distance. The room was growing thick with static and Clarke knew that she needed to get herself under control before the storm reached the village. Her heart was pounding in her chest, ready to rip out if it beat any harder, and she could feel the hair on her arms standing up.

‘Center yourself” A gentle voice breathed, startling her. 

Clarke whipped her head around, searching for the source of the sound, but both her mother and Octavia were fast asleep. A sliver of panic made her blood run cold; a clap of thunder shook the house. Clarke shot to her feet barely managing to clamp down on a shriek, but it didn’t matter, she heard footsteps coming down the stairs, and then Bellamy was standing there. His hair was sticking up in every direction, and his eyes were only halfway open. He scanned Octavia, who was miraculously still asleep, before making his way over to where Clarke was standing, stiff as a board and probably white as a sheet. Bellamy’s mouth was moving, and it took her a moment to realize that he was speaking to her.

“S-something’s wrong.” She finally choked out, eyes wild. “Th-there was someone in h-h-here.”

Bellamy’s brow furrowed as he gently led Clarke back to her chair. “Clarke, no one is here. You were probably just dreaming.”

She shook her head violently, still feeling the soft breath on her ear. “I h-heard them! They t-talked to m-m-me.” 

“Clarke, you need to take a breath. You’re bringing in a storm and it’s going to alarm the guards.”

Clarke surged to her feet, sending her chair flying, and effectively waking her mother and Octavia. “Bellamy there was someone in here!”

The air around Clarke crackled and shimmered as her magic coursed through her body. Bellamy took a cautious step backwards as Abi rushed to Clarke’s side; Clarke flinched upon seeing the fear in his eyes. He was afraid of her; she was scaring him. Abi lightly took her arm and led them outside, where she couldn’t hurt Bellamy or Octavia. The rain soaked through her clothing within seconds, chilling her to the bone so her teeth were chattering so loud she could have sworn it could be heard down the street. Despite the freezing cold, sparks flew from her fingertips, casting shadows over the small houses. Clarke shot a terrified glance at her mother, begging her to make it stop before the guards found them. Abi only stared back at her with steady eyes, willing Clarke to calm down enough to control it. She was on her own, her mother couldn’t help her, and time was running out. Heavy footsteps echoed through the alleys, along with the metallic clamor of swords and voices. They were out of time. 

Clarke felt another tear slide down her cheek. “Get them out of here!” She shouted over the hissing and crackling of the magic

“No, I’ll hold them off! Take Octavia and get somewhere safe!” Abi yelled back, already moving toward the guards that were coming around the corner. Clarke’s heart dropped into her stomach as she realized what it was that her mother meant. She stumbled after Abi on half numb legs, choking on a plea for her mother to come with her. She watched her mother shake her head, tears welling up in her eyes. It was as if the whole world had slowed down as Abi stroked Clarke’s cheek and kissed her forehead. Clarke heard her say goodbye, watched her weave her hands through the air. Abi hit the first guard with a stun spell, knocking the man into a wall. Clarke lifted her sparking hands, but before she was able to channel the spell, she was yanked backwards. 

“No!” Clarke cried, thrashing against her captor.

“We have to go.” Octavia begged. Clarke wrenched herself free, zapping Octavia with her hands. She lurched forward, using all of her strength to summon a stun spell powerful enough to knock out all of the soldiers. Clarke was just about to throw the spell, when she heard Octavia scream, and she turned just in time to see an arrow lodge itself in her mothers’ skull. Abi collapsed in the mud as another arrow was let lose and struck Clarke’s shoulder.

“Mom!” Clarke screamed, a burst of energy exploding from her hands. She took a small step toward her mothers’ lifeless body, but she felt Bellamy’s arm wind around her waist. 

This time when he tried to drag her away, Clarke didn’t resist. She let him carry her down the dark alleys, father and farther away from her mother until they were well away from the town, hidden in the forest. Clarke didn’t even register where they were heading until Bellamy set her down in her own bed; they were back at the cottage. She sat there, staring at the wall for what could have been hours, until Octavia appeared in front of her. Clarke looked up at the younger girl, blinking quickly to clear the blur from her vision; only it didn’t help. The room was swimming, and for some reason, her eyes were sore. 

“We need to leave, it isn’t safe here.” Octavia whispered, not meeting Clarke’s eyes.

Clarke gazed at her for a moment, trying to form a coherent sentence. “They’ll burn the cottage, they will destroy it.”

Octavia sighed and bit her lip, appearing tired and hollow. “Clarke, we have to go.”

“My stuff…mom’s books…” Clarke trailed off, feeling so lost she wasn’t sure if she would ever find her way out of the haze that was clouding her mind.

“I packed as much as I could, but we can’t take all of it. Come on,” Octavia murmured, taking Clarke’s hand, “it’s time to go.”


	4. Chapter 4

Clarke was drained. It was apparent in the way she carried herself so carelessly, shoulders slumped, feet dragging as she trailed behind Octavia and Bellamy. There was a nervous quiver in her left hand that had never been there before- though Bellamy assumed it could be from the wound the arrow left-, and it seemed as though her eyes had sunken into her skull. Her face was grey and washed out, and her hair hung in stringy tangles, creating a curtain around her hollow face. At night she barely slept, and when she did, Bellamy always heard her thrashing and moaning until Clarke would jolt awake, crying out for her mother. He tried to ignore the fact that Clarke hadn’t eaten more than a piece of bread in four days, because whenever he tried to talk some sense into her, Clarke would wander off and sometimes not return for several hours. It was like she wasn’t even alive; she was mechanical in her movements whenever she checked the gash on his back, her fingers ice against his skin. It drove Octavia nuts and she grew more and more irritated each day; Bellamy knew that if Clarke didn’t snap out of it soon, his sister would explode. Bellamy was frustrated with both of them, and it made for a very long and awkward trip; though he wasn’t exactly sure where it was they were going.

“She’s started talking to herself.” Octavia mentioned one morning as the trio trudged their way through the forest. “I heard her last night muttering about some island.”

Bellamy cast a glance over his shoulder at the ghost that followed a little ways behind them. It was clear in Octavia’s tone that she was at the end of her rope, and Bellamy had half a mind to let her go off on Clarke. “She just lost her mother O, cut her some slack.”

Octavia shot him an icy look and clenched her fists. “She’s not the only one who lost her. Abi was family to us too.”

“I know, but she feels-“

“She can hear you, you know.” Clarke snapped, causing Bellamy to jump and his cheeks to turn red.

Octavia turned to face the blonde, folding her arms over her chest and arching an eyebrow. “Look who’s decided to join us.”

Clarke met Octavia’s cold stare with narrowed eyes, flicking her greasy hair away from her face. She contemplated responding, but decided against it, and moved past the younger girl. The air smelled of salt, and the crashing of waves could be heard in the distance; they were almost at the sea. Clarke didn’t wait to see if the other two were following her, she just pressed forward until the forest floor turned to sand and the trees opened up to reveal the ocean. She had been there before, but that had been ages ago, when her father was still alive…when her mother was still alive. Clarke lifted her face up to the grey sky and drew in a deep breath; she crouched down and dug her fingers into the wet sand, reveling in the coarseness of the grains on her skin. The wind lifted her hair, making it dance around her face, causing goose pimples to spread over her cheeks and arms; she felt alive for the first time since they had fled Arkadia. 

The time of mourning is over; cleanse your body and soul. It is time to move on.

The chime-like voice that Clarke had grown to trust, urged her. Without checking to see if Octavia and Bellamy were around, Clarke shrugged out of her jacket. She hastily pulled off her boots and pants, and quickly disposed of her shirt before wading out into the water. It was cold, but the waves felt nice on her grimy skin, making it easier for Clarke to endure the chill. She scrubbed the dirt from her body, and lay back to soak her hair. In that moment, with her head under the water, Clarke found a sense of peace she had never known. Once she was clean, and rejuvenated, Clarke made her way back to shore where Bellamy and Octavia were waiting. 

“So now that we’re here, with nowhere else to go, what’s the plan?” Octavia demanded as Clarke was tugging on her shirt.

Clarke stared out over the grey water for a moment, weighing their options. “We find a ship.”

“A ship,” Bellamy deadpanned. “And where are we going to find one of those? I don’t see a port, let alone any people.”

The blonde sighed, closing her eyes for a brief moment. “There is a small town not far from here, sailors go there to resupply and whatnot. We should check it out, find someone to take us in.”

Octavia shook her head and glared at Clarke. “And how do you know all this? You’ve never been this far from the cottage.”

“My father used to come here to trade, sometimes he would take me with him to see the ocean. Mom came with us the last time we went.” Clarke avoided Octavia’s eyes, glancing down at the sand, holding her lip between her teeth. She felt a familiar prickling sensation in her eyes, and she had to turn her head toward the sky to keep the tears from escaping; the memories were too painful, too good to think about.

Bellamy cleared his throat, cutting through the tension that had filled the air. “Let’s go find us a ship then.”

Clarke shot him a grateful look, and started off in the direction of the town she used to visit as a child. Her feet seemed to move out of memory, guiding her straight to the old rickety dock she used to jump from. Not much had changed in TonDC, the air still smelled like smoked fish and burning straw, the tavern still stood just peaking out of the trees, smoke billowing from the chimney. The faint smell of mead tickled her nose as the neared the tavern, and music floated through the open windows, along with the sound of drunken laughter and chatter. Clarke reached for the door, taking a steadying breath before pulling it open. She was hit with a wave of emotion; the inside was just as she remembered, even her fathers harp remained hanging over the fireplace. He’d lost it in a game of cards against the owner, and his good friend, Marcus Kane. Kane had hung it there as proof that the card champion, Jake Griffin, had lost. 

Clarke led them to a table in the corner and sat down, she tried not to notice the way her hands were shaking. She wondered if Kane was still alive; his wife had been a witch after all. Her question was answered moments later when the man himself approached their table with a pitcher and three cups.

“It’s not too often that we get travelers around here this time of year.” Kane commented, setting the pitcher down. “What brings you folks to our neck of the kingdom?”

Bellamy shot Clarke a nervous look as he handed Kane a silver coin. Clarke nudged him with her foot and offered a smile. “We’re in need of a ship…wanting to do some traveling.” She lied smoothly, taking a sip of her mead.

Kane chuckled and turned his attention to Clarke. “Not many honest sailors in here miss, it’s off season.”

Clarke returned the laugh and nodded in understanding. “But there are sailors?”

“Not the kind you want to be messing with.” Kane warned, eyeing her carefully. “It’d be best if you came back once the snow has come and gone.”

Clarke could feel both Octavia and Bellamy looking at her, the weight of their growing panic threatening to crush her. She pursed her lips and focused back on Kane, projecting the seriousness of her request in her eyes. She watched the realization sink in, and nodded slowly. “I’m looking for a ship, not honesty.”

“I can’t. I can’t send you off with pirates, you’re just kids.”

“Kane, please. If you don’t point me in the right direction, what happens to us will be worse than anything the pirates would do.” Clarke urged in a hushed tone, only realizing her mistake after his name had left her mouth.

The man stared at her with recognition in his wide eyes. “Clarke.”

Clarke drug a hand over her tired face, drawing in a deep breath and squaring her shoulders. There was no way he would help them now, not knowing who she was. “Yeah, it’s me.”

“W-where’s your mother?” Kane demanded, sitting down across from her. “What’s going on?”

“We’re in trouble, the King has his men out looking for us.” Clarke whispered, searching his eyes.

“And your mother?” He asked again, but Clarke could see that he already knew the answer.

Hanging her head, Clarke let out a sharp breath. “She’s dead.”

Kane was silent for a long time, and Clarke was beginning to think that he would send them away. Finally, after what felt like a century, he sighed and nodded grimly. “That woman over there, the one with the tattoo on her face…that’s Indra. She’s second mate to a captain who goes by the name of Commander. Talk to her.”

Clarke exhaled, realizing she hadn’t been breathing and grabbed Kane’s hand. “Thank you.”

The older man looked at her with sadness in his eyes that caused slivers of pain to erupt in her heart. “Be careful out there Clarke. Pirates can’t be trusted, even if you have magic to protect you.”

“May we meet again.” Clarke said, getting to her feet and slowly making her way over to where Indra sat.

The woman didn’t look at Clarke until she was standing across from her, arms crossed, head tilted slightly to the side. Clarke studied her carefully, noting the dangerously sharp blade that Indra held loosely in her right hand. The woman glanced up at Clarke, her gaze furious and heavy. Clarke fought the urge to cringe away from her.

“What do you want, girl.” Indra articulated slowly.

Clarke squared her shoulders and sat down, leaning back in the chair with narrowed eyes. “I hear you can get me a spot on your captains ship.”

The woman snorted and rolled her eyes. “Did you now?” Indra shook her head, eyes flitting to her blade. “The Commander doesn’t allow children onboard.”

Anger surged through her veins, causing Clarke’s blood to boil and thunder to roll in the distance. Clarke leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table, meeting Indra’s fiery gaze with her own icy stare. “We have money. I can pay The Commander if that’s what it takes.”

“No.” Indra ground out, studying Clarke closely.

Clarke arched an eyebrow, feeling Bellamy’s eyes on her back. “Then I’ll find your captain and ask them myself.”

Clarke stood swiftly, and Indra did the same, bringing up the dagger to hold it to Clarke’s throat. She was expecting it however, and Clarke had her magic ready. Indra froze when she saw the ball of pure energy that Clarke wielded in her hands, and Clarke smiled triumphantly. She watched Indra tuck the blade into her belt, and nod for her to follow. Clarke motioned for Octavia and Bellamy to join her, and the four of them exited the tavern. They followed cautiously behind Indra, Clarke keeping a close eye on the pirate as she led them onto the dock and over to a small rowboat. The ride out to the massive ship was tense and silent. Oddly enough, Clarke found comfort in the fact that Bellamy was sitting next to her, his arm touching hers; she didn’t feel so alone.

“Wait here.” Indra muttered once they were onboard, and she left them as a crowd began to gather. 

Most of the crew, Clarke noticed, had tattoos like Indra; dark blue or black, caressing their eyes or face. Clarke took in the sight of the other pirates; surprised to see it was a mixture of men and women. They kept their distance from the trio, probably because sparks of magic danced along Clarke’s fingers, and up her arms. 

“That’s enough witch. No need to show off here, my crew won’t hurt you unless I order them to.” A feminine voice boomed from above them. Looking up, Clarke saw a young woman, around the same age as her, standing outside the doors of the captain’s cabin. She assumed the woman was The Commander. Clarke smiled apologetically and, with some difficulty, reigned her powers back in. 

“You must be The Commander.” Clarke drawled, placing her hands on her hips.

The woman nodded. “Yes. Indra tells me you would like to join my crew.”

“Not exactly…” Octavia muttered, earning an elbow to the ribs from Bellamy.

“We’re seeking safe passage out of the kingdom. We don’t care where you take us, as long as it’s far from here.” Clarke explained.

The Commander stared down at them for a moment before shrugging. “And you swear to abide by the rules set aboard this vessel?”

Beside her, Bellamy sighed impatiently. Clarke bit back a chuckle and dipped her head. “Of course.”

A cat-like grin spread across The Commanders face and she nodded her head slowly. “Then welcome aboard Polis.”

Clarke let out a breath and wandered over to the edge of the ship to look out over the water. She shivered as the wind-like voice caressed her ear and settled into her brain.

Tread carefully child.


	5. Chapter 5

Clarke was standing at the bow of the boat watching the horizon while she twirled her magic between her fingers, when she heard someone approaching her. She could tell by the footsteps that it was The Commander, as she had spent the last few nights memorizing their sound when the captain paced in her cabin above the sleeping quarters. Clarke felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up as the woman watched her, but she waited for her to break the silence.

“You’re safe you know…the King can’t reach you out here.” The Commander sighed, coming to stand next to Clarke, resting her arms on the net that hung in front of her.

Clarke turned her head to look at the captain, and offered her a stiff smile. “I may be free of the King, but that doesn’t mean I’m out of danger. It seems that I make enemies everywhere I go.”

“If you’re referring to Indra, you don’t have to worry, my crew will not hurt you or your friends.” The woman assured her quietly. Clarke nodded and continued to stare into the water, thoughts racing. She was trying to avoid thinking about her mother, and the life she had left behind. “I never did catch your name.”

“Clarke.” She said almost mechanically, glancing over to the girl beside her.

The Commander smiled, “I’m Lexa.”

“Lexa…” Clarke murmured, testing it out. She bit back a smirk; no wonder she went by Commander, Lexa was not as intimidating. Clarke gave Lexa a once over, taking in the way she stood tall and proud with those cat-like eyes that seemed to pierce skin. She definitely looked like a force to be reckoned with, even more so when her eyes were painted black like the wings of a bat, as they had been the first night. 

Lexa’s face darkened suddenly, and she stood up straighter. “I must warn you, however, that snooping around my ship is not allowed. I suggest you tell that man of yours to mind his own business and be thankful that I let him sail with us.”

Clarke frowned and nodded in understanding. “He’s not my…I’ll tell him.”

Lexa dipped her head curtly before storming off to her cabin, slamming the door behind her. Clarke stood there for a moment in stunned silence for a moment, then she set off to find Bellamy and pass on The Commander’s warning. She wondered how Lexa knew, Clarke hadn’t even known. It dawned on her that Lexa had people spying on them. Her blood boiled at the thought, and she practically flew down the steep steps into the lower deck where they had been sleeping. She was so distracted by her fury that she slammed right into Bellamy, throwing herself off balance and nearly tumbling to the floor. He caught her easily, and steadied her, concern in his dark brown eyes.

“Bellamy!” Clarke hissed, taking a step away from him.

Bellamy sighed and folded his arms over his chest, cocking his head back. “Princess.” He fired back with equal venom in his voice.

“Are you trying to get us locked up or thrown off the ship?” She demanded, voice low and angry.

“Why the hell would I want to do that?”

Clarke threw her arms up in exasperation. “I don’t know, you tell me! Why have you been snooping around the ship?”

“Because I don’t trust this ‘Commander’ and neither should you.” He replied, eyes softening slightly. “Clarke, something doesn’t feel right about this.”

Clarke exhaled sharply and set to pacing the small space to calm herself. “It’s just because they’re pirates, but I’ve talked to The Commander and she assured me that no one is going to hurt us. We’re safe Bellamy.”

Bellamy shook his head and swiped a hand over his face, rubbing his eyes. He shuffled his feet and placed a hand on his hip, peering at her with an unreadable expression. Clarke stared back, begging him to let it go, begging him to accept that they were safe; because if he did, then so could she. Finally, Bellamy sighed and threw his hands up in defeat. “Fine. But Clarke…”

“I know, I’ll keep an eye out, and so will you. If anything seems off, we run.” Clarke felt her shoulders relax, and she shot Bellamy a small smile. 

Of course he didn’t return it, instead, Bellamy muttered something about going to find Octavia and he left Clarke alone with her thoughts. Clarke rested her hands on her hips and stared down at the wooden floor, feeling so tired that she believed she could sleep for years. Her heart ached, and her stomach was wound into millions of knots. It was the first time that Clarke had really taken inventory of herself and admitted that she wasn’t okay. After her mother had died, Clarke had tuned out, she’d turned everything off so she didn’t have to feel the pain, but now it was slowly creeping back, slowly seeping into her soul and ripping her apart. Self-hatred kept her from seeking comfort from Octavia and Bellamy; she didn’t deserve it. She was alone, and that was her punishment. It was her fault that her mother was dead, she hadn’t been able to control her powers, and her mother was killed for it. The only family that she had left was drifting away, out of her reach, and there was nothing Clarke could do to stop it. She tried to convince herself that it was better that way. The worst thing about it was that she hadn’t been there for Octavia when she’d needed her most. The anger that the younger girl directed at her was well deserved, but it wasn’t fair to Octavia; Clarke doubted however, that Octavia would allow her to be there for her now. It was too late. It pained Clarke to admit it, they had been so close; Octavia had become her sister, someone that she would have put before herself in any circumstance. But in a way, she sort of blamed Octavia for her mothers death. If the younger girl hadn’t been so adamant about visiting Bellamy, they wouldn’t have gone to Arkadia…her mother would still be alive.

And Bellamy would be dead.

She jumped when the gentle voice sounded in her ear, reminding her that she had saved his life. Yet another thing Clarke had forgotten about, and Bellamy was probably still in pain from the lashing; she still had to ask him about that. Clarke shook her head, sickened by her negligence. How could she forget about her family’s pain like that? She had been so selfish, she’d ignored their suffering in order to prevent her own…

“The Commander wants to see you in her quarters.” Someone grunted, slowly making their way down into the crews sleeping area. In the dim light, Clarke could just make out a tall muscular figure with a shaved head. Unlike the rest of the crew, he had no visible tattoos. Clarke remembered seeing him with Octavia a few times over the last few days. She nodded and followed him up onto the deck. He led her right to the doors of Lexa’s cabin and motioned for her to enter. Clarke squared her shoulders and let herself in, immediately spotting Lexa at a long wooden desk with maps sprawled across it.

Lexa didn’t look up as Clarke approached her, but waved for her to stand by her side. “We will be making port in two days, I wanted to show you where I’ll be leaving you in case you need to take off again.”

“We won’t need to, but thank you.” Clarke replied sincerely, smiling down at Lexa. 

The woman offered a small one in return before turning back to her maps. Clarke hesitated a moment, wanting to talk to the mysterious girl, to learn more about her, but she decided against it and began to make her way out.

“Clarke…” Lexa trailed off, voice holding a note of uncertainty. “I…I’m sorry for the way I lashed out at you earlier.”

Clarke turned around to face her and shrugged. “You had every right to.”

Her words seemed to shock Lexa, as her lips parted slightly and disbelief filled her eyes. Clarke understood her though; the only side The Commander had ever seen of her was the thunderous and unforgiving one. The hurricane that destroyed everything in its path…unapologetic, and unforgiving.

“Clarke?”

“Yes?” Clarke answered quietly, stepping forward.

Lexa bit her lip, lowering her gaze. “You won’t hurt forever. Pain fades eventually.”

Clarke swallowed hard and focused her gaze on the floor. She felt a dull throb ripple around her heart and she bit down on her tongue. She stood in the middle of the room for a few seconds longer, then she drew in a deep breath and left, needing to be alone like she always was.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to post!!!! I hope that this chapter makes up for the time you guys have waited...Just Uni is a little crazy right now. I hope you like this chapter :)

“You can take your apology and shove it up your ass, Clarke.” Octavia grumbled, not looking up from the sack she had been packing and unpacking for the last twenty minutes.

Clarke sighed and shuffled her feet agitatedly. “I’m not apologizing, I’m just trying to be… I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Octavia let out a huff of air that could have been a laugh, if not for the way her shoulders were hunched in anger, or the fury in her voice. “That’s precious.” She muttered, rounding on Clarke to glare at her through narrowed eyes. “I’m fine, you don’t need to hover just because you feel like shit for clocking out on me.”

“That’s not the reason I’m here Octavia. I really do want to know how you’re doing.” Clarke tried again, catching the younger girl by the sleeve when she started to walk away.

Octavia jerked her arm away, as though she had been burned. “Let me rephrase; I don’t need or want you looking out for me. I can take care of myself, I don’t need you.”

This time, when Octavia stormed off, Clarke let her go. She exhaled sharply, feeling a sinking sensation in her gut, but she shoved the anxiety aside and gazed out over the horizon. Clarke wasn’t sure where exactly it was that Lexa was taking them, but wherever it was, the air was getting considerably warmer. She sighed as the sun warmed her skin, chasing away some of the chill of Arkadia that clung to her bones. Lexa had said that she would like it where they were going…she grudgingly began to think the pirate was right. The relationship she had with Lexa was strange, as they weren’t exactly friends, but they certainly were not enemies. Clarke had to admit that she felt drawn to the woman, she would be crazy not to be; Lexa was mesmerizing. She unnerved Clarke, made her feel out of control…but she also could see right through the walls that Clarke had surrounded herself with, and Lexa seemed to sympathize with her in a way that no one else but Bellamy- even though he would never admit it- ever could.

“Clarke!” 

A small smile graced Clarke’s face and she turned to face the Commander, who was beaming at her in excitement. “Lexa, I was just thinking about you.”

Lexa smiled and glanced down, and Clarke thought that she saw a light blush creeping into the woman’s cheeks. “You liked the clothes I sent you.”

“Yeah, my other ones were beyond saving.” Clarke admitted, tugging at her sleeve.

Lexa nodded, looking Clarke up and down. “Blue looks nice on you.”

It was Clarke’s turn to blush, and she turned her face away so Lexa wouldn’t see. But they were standing so close, Lexa’s body heat radiated onto Clarke, seeping through the light fabric of her clothing. It caused Clarke’s heart to pound unevenly in her chest, making it difficult to breathe. She felt the feather light touch of Lexa’s pinky curling around her own, and it sent a jolt of lightning through her body. She could see the soft smile on the other woman’s lips out of the corner of her eye, and she allowed her own lips to twitch up into something that resembled a grin. It was nice to touch someone without fear of being harmed; she felt comfortable in that moment, with their pinkies interlocked as they gazed out over the blue ocean. 

“What will you do when you are free?” Lexa wondered as the two of them entered her cabin. She waited patiently for Clarke’s answer, pouring them a cup of wine, watching Clarke closely, curiously.

“I’ve never really thought about it. Everything has happened so fast that I haven’t had time to figure it all out.” Clarke replied, taking a slow sip of her wine. “What about you?”

Lexa chuckled and shrugged her shoulders. “I’m a pirate Clarke, I’ve always been free.”

“Must be nice,” Clarke murmured, “being able to go wherever, do whatever…there ‘s nothing tying you down or holding you back. You just go wherever the sea takes you.”

“It’s a good life.” Lexa agreed, coming to sit next to Clarke. Clarke tried not to notice how close they were sitting, tried to ignore the way her skin would tingle when their arms would brush. She had to clear her throat several times before speaking. 

“Does it ever get lonely?” Her words came out low and husky, and she saw Lexa’s chest rise quickly with her sharp intake of breath.

The Commander glanced up at Clarke through her lashes and smiled shyly. “Yes, but it’s not so bad…with you.”

Now it was Clarke’s turn to be breathless, and she took a long drink of wine to steady herself. The gentle voice whispered words of comfort in her ear, and Clarke felt no sense of hesitation…perhaps it was the wine? She didn’t care, it seemed like she had been miserable for far too long, and in that moment with Lexa gazing at her with heavy lidded eyes, and her lips that looked so soft, Clarke let herself go. She leaned forward, slowly at first to give Lexa time to pull away, and then fell into the other girl. Clarke pressed her body against Lexa’s, tangling her fingers in her long, wavy hair. The kiss started out gentle, careful, but Clarke wanted more. She swiped her tongue over Lexa’s bottom lip, causing the pirate to sigh and deepen the kiss. Clarke let out a growl, catching Lexa’s lip between her teeth and nibbling playfully. Lexa gasped, fingers sliding up under Clarke’s shirt, hot against her skin. She trailed her fingers up Clarke’s side, earning a soft moan, and gently cupped her breasts. Clarke smiled, slowly easing them down until Lexa lay on her back, Clarke hovering above her. Lexa grinned back up at Clarke, dragging her down for a kiss, tugging at the bottom of Clarke’s shirt. Clarke felt her heart skip violently in her chest as she pulled her top over her head and tossed it to the side. She felt Lexa’s eyes roaming over her exposed skin, her fingers gliding softly along Clarke’s stomach. Her eyes fluttered shut, when Lexa sat up to press a searing kiss to her collarbone. 

“Clarke…” Lexa breathed, her warm breath sending fire through Clarke’s entire body. 

Lexa’s lips worked their way up her neck, and then slowly back down until Lexa’s tongue flicked over her nipple, causing Clarke to let out a hushed cry. She arched her back, pressing herself more firmly against Lexa, craving the heat of her body. The Commander giggled, meeting Clarke’s eyes with a wicked grin, she gently pushed her back until Clarke was lying below her. The sun shining through the window illuminated Lexa, bringing out the lighter shades in her hair, making her green eyes glow. Clarke had never seen someone so beautiful, and she stared in awe as Lexa gracefully rid herself of her own shirt. Clarke reached up to trace her fingers over the tattoo that marked Lexa’s shoulder. She felt the pirate shudder, and then their lips were crashing together and Clarke’s pants were suddenly too tight, too restrictive. 

Clarke struggled for a moment, trying to unclasp the button. She gasped when Lexa’s hand slipped under the waistband. Another giggle bubbled passed Lexa’s lips, falling on to the sensitive spot of Clarke’s neck. Lexa took her time pulling Clarke’s pants down, one leg at a time, until the blonde whimpered desperately, squirming under Lexa’s touch. 

“Commander!” Indra shouted, storming into the room. “Enemy ships have been spotted to the north.”

Clarke and Lexa jumped in surprise; Lexa quickly covered Clarke with the blanket. “Ready the cannons, everyone to their battle stations.”

Indra hurried off, leaving the two women alone. Lexa met Clarke’s worried gaze and offered her a smile. “You have nothing to worry about Clarke, you’re safe here.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is not edited like everything else I write. This also sucks. Not really sorry because at least I updated...only took me a month. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this. Please let me know what you think or just stop by the comments and say hi! Sorry for this shitty chapter but it's all I could do.

Clarke had just finished dressing herself when Bellamy and Octavia walked into the captain’s quarters. She ran a hand through her disheveled curls, attempting to tame the mess with her fingers. Bellamy caught her eye and arched his brow, a slight smirk playing on his mouth; Clarke simply rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her chest. She could feel the blush that still stained her cheeks, and there was no doubt that her lips were swollen, but Clarke couldn’t bring herself to be guilty; she hadn’t done anything wrong. Clarke heard Bellamy chuckle quietly as he came to stand next to her, she shot him a grin. They stood in comfortable silence for a few minutes, staring out the window at the crewmembers preparing themselves for a potential battle.

“So…” Bellamy started after a beat, “you and the Commander huh?”

Clarke elbowed his hip and shook her head, feeling a strange warmth spread through her chest. Joking around with Bellamy was uncharted territory for the most part, and it left her wondering where they stood.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but it’s none of your business.”

That made him laugh and turn to face her. “No judgment here princess. It’s just…it’s been a while since I’ve seen you smile.”

Clarke tilted her head to look at Bellamy, a soft smile on her face. “Freedom does that to a person.”

“We aren’t free yet.” Octavia muttered, joining them by the window and pointing to the two approaching ships. “Those are Arkadian boats.”

Dread filled her stomach, and Clarke shot a glance up at Bellamy. He met her stare with equal concern, his hand instinctively curling around Octavia’s wrist. Clarke chewed on her lip while she tried to come up with an escape plan incase things went south. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Lexa, she just knew better than to leave their fate in the hands of a stranger. They were sitting ducks hiding out in Lexa’s cabin, but they were too recognizable to join the others on deck; Clarke’s unusually light hair made her stick out like a sore thumb, and Bellamy had an air about him that demanded attention. Octavia was lucky; no one from Arkadia knew what she looked like.

Retrieving the stick of charcoal from the desk, Clarke motioned for Octavia to sit down. “The guards don’t know what you look like, you can blend in with the rest of the crew.” She explained, lining the younger girls eyes. 

“No way-“ Bellamy started, but Clarke held up a hand to silence him.

“It’ll be a lot safer than hiding in here with us. Go find Indra or that guy you’re always with-Lincoln- and stay close to them. If one of us gets taken, Lexa has promised to keep you safe.” Clarke smudged the charcoal around Octavia’s eyes and down to her cheeks. She held her by the shoulders for a long moment, memorizing Octavia’s face like it was the last time she would ever see her again. 

“Stay safe.” Octavia said reaching passed Clarke to give her brother’s arm a squeeze. She met Clarke’s eyes for a brief second before hurrying out to join the pirates.

Bellamy watched his sister leave, eyes wide and afraid. Clarke wished that she could offer him some kind of reassurance, but what could she say? There was no guarantee that any of them would be safe, especially Octavia if a fight were to break out. Octavia could die out there, while they only risked being taken captive…and a gory execution once they returned to Arkadia. Clarke drew in a deep breath and went to stare out the window at the fast approaching ships. From what her father had told her about sailor’s encounters with pirates, Clarke knew that Arkadian military ships were the only ones that ever dared to get too close to a pirate ship. She crossed her fingers and sent up a silent prayer to the Gods that they were just cargo or passenger ships.

“Is there anything you can do?” Bellamy wondered from behind her.

Clarke shook her head, eyes locked on the boats. “And let them know that there is a witch on board?”

Bellamy heaved a frustrated sigh, coming to stand behind her. He was so close that Clarke felt his voice vibrate in his chest when he spoke. “Clarke, my sister is out there…”

“I know.” Clarke whispered, feeling her heart sink at the thought of anything happening to Octavia. 

She stomped down on her rising panic, trying to keep her breathing even and her magic under control. It ran like electricity in her veins, begging to be set free, sending shivers up her spine. Clarke grit her teeth and curled her hands into fists until her nails bit painfully into the flesh of her palm. The air was thick with static as the two of them watched the ships sail by, both holding their breath. Clarke felt Bellamy exhale when they heard someone give the all clear, only for him to freeze as Lexa began barking orders.

“Prepare for boarding!” The Commander shouted from right outside the door.

Clarke looked up at Bellamy, seeing her fear reflected in his eyes. For a moment, they could only stare at each other in alarm, but then Lexa burst into the cabin, green eyes wild, shoulders tense.

“One of the ships was a military ship. The Captain in boarding now to collect payment.” Lexa nodded over to the wardrobe. “In there.”  
Bellamy narrowed his eyes at the woman and folded his arms over his chest. “Where’s my sister?”

Lexa sighed impatiently. “She is with my second. Now get your asses in there before you are seen.”

Clarke didn’t need to be told twice, she grabbed Bellamy’s sleeve and hauled him into the small space. The door to Lexa’s quarters was thrown open just as Bellamy closed them inside the wardrobe. Clarke listened to the heavy footfalls as the captain entered the room, and she could imagine the look on Lexa’s face; the thought almost made her laugh.

“How much?” Lexa demanded, her low voice sending heat through Clarke’s body.

“Eighty pieces.” Came the captain’s lazy response.

There was a sound like a drawer opening, then Clarke heard the clinking of coins being dropped into what was most likely the captain’s hand. A beat of tense silence followed, then they heard the captain begin to pace the small room.

“You haven’t picked up any passengers have you?” He wondered, sounding smug and arrogant. 

Lexa sighed, and Clarke could picture the woman rolling her eyes. “We picked up a group of three in TonDC… a witch and two humans. They offered us a good sum to take them to the nearest port.”

Clarke felt Bellamy tense up, and she stopped breathing. “Are they still on the ship?”

“No, we left them in Mount Weather. They seemed like trouble and I don’t need the likes of you sniffing around my vessel.” Lexa lied coolly.

The captain snorted and jiggled the coin bag in his hands. “If they seemed so troublesome, why allow them to board?”

“The witch wouldn’t take no for an answer.” Lexa replied, a hint of a smile in her voice. “She was powerful.”

Clarke’s cheeks burned at the compliment she knew was aimed at her, and she saw Bellamy shake his head in the dark. “So they are in Mount Weather?”

“That’s what I said, is it not?” The Commander purred, sounding angry and dangerous. “Now captain, if that is all, I suggest you get off of my ship before I change my mind about our peace agreement.”

There was some awkward shuffling, then the door banged shut leaving the room silent and empty. Clarke heaved a sigh of relief, resting her forehead against Bellamy’s back, feeling him let out a long breath as well. They remained in the wardrobe until the ship began to move and Octavia informed them that it was safe to come out.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck.... if anyone is still following this fic, I’m so sorry for taking a year to post this.

“The Arkadian King has stationed guards at the docks.” Lexa quipped, narrowing her eyes at the shore. 

Clarke bit back a groan and turned to face the captain. “So what are we going to do?”

Lexa shrugged, clearly not too bothered and shouted for the anchor to be brought back up. “We will take you to the next port if it is safe for the three of you.”

“And if it’s not?” Bellamy questioned, folding his arms over his chest. 

Lexa shot him a smirk, “a pirates life for you.” She grinned at Clarke, brushing her fingers as she sauntered away. 

Clarke followed the captain with her eyes for a moment; she chewed at her lip as she contemplated going after her. They hadn’t spoken about what had happened, or almost happened, between them only two days ago, but Lexa seemed rather content to flirt with Clarke whenever she had the chance. It drove Clarke mad. 

“Clarke!” Bellamy snapped his fingers at her, an incredulous expression on his face.

She blinked, shoving away the image of Lexa hovering over her. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

Bellamy sighed, fixing her with what she could only describe as a ‘father’ look, and shook his head. “We are getting off of this ship at the next port The Commander stops at. All three of us.”

“Yes I know.” Clarke said slowly, furrowing her brow in confusion at the sharp tone of his voice. “Why wouldn’t all of us go?”

He nodded, appearing satisfied with her answer. “I heard what Octavia said to you the other day, and you’ve been happier since we boarded this ship...” Bellamy scratched the back of his neck, wincing slightly. “Just know that despite what my sister says, she does still need you.” 

Clarke pursed her lips, feeling a dull throb in her chest. The little voice whispered that he was right, and Clarke had to turn away before she did something stupid, like cry. Clarke lifted her face to the sky as the world around her began to blur, praying that the tears would leave. She didn’t want to cry, not with Bellamy standing behind her, watching her closely. Because Clarke knew that once she let herself, she wouldn’t be able to stop.  
So after a few deep breaths, Clarke turned to face him again.

“I need to check your wound.” 

Bellamy took a step back, his brown eyes wide. “It’s healing just fine, there’s no need.” 

“It’s still bothering you, now let me see.” Clarke pressed, taking a step towards him.

“Seriously Princess, I’m fine.” Bellamy chuckled. 

Clarke sighed and planted her hands on her hips. “You might think so, but with injuries like yours it is very common for the skin to split again which means it could get infected.” 

She took another step forward, surprised when Bellamy stood his ground, and she frowned up at him. “I’m not going to hurt you, I just want to make sure you’re actually healing.” 

“Clarke-“ Bellamy started to protest, but blue sparks erupted from Clarke’s fingertips, effectively shutting him up.

“Bellamy!” She snapped, seeming just as surprised as he was by the sudden burst of magic. “I wasn’t there for Octavia when I should have been, please let me be here for you. Please.” 

Bellamy gaped at the woman in front of him. She was glaring up at him, that determined expression he had grown to admire on her face. But behind the anger, he could see just how guilty she felt, how much she was hurting, and while he didn’t want her to see that ugly lash mark on his back...Bellamy found himself turning around and tugging his shirt over his head. He heard Clarke suck in a sharp breath, and he couldn’t help but feel embarrassed, ashamed as her fingers swept over his skin, taking the pain away. Bellamy wanted to tell her to stop, that she shouldn’t have to suffer for him, but he knew that she wouldn’t listen so he stood there and allowed her to touch his gruesome wound.

“How did this happen?” Clarke wondered as she mixed another potion for him.

Bellamy sighed and shrugged. “I was out of line, and I was punished for it.”

He felt Clarke’s featherlight eyes on him, and he knew she didn’t believe him. “Soldiers don’t get lashed simply for being out of line Bellamy.”

“I stole food.” He admitted quietly. “On one of my patrols I came across this little girl, she couldn’t have been older than twelve... her name was Charlotte. The poor thing was starving, and I couldn’t just walk away knowing she would be dead before the first snowfall, so I stole a loaf of bread and a few pieces of dried meat from the market.”

Clarke’s fingers were gentle as she spread the salve over his back. “And you were caught.”

Bellamy nodded, closing his eyes. “They lashed me in the middle of the market, and forced me to watch her hang. Accusing her of witchcraft...because why else would a well respected member of the guard steal food for a poor girl on the brink of death?” 

They were silent for a while as Clarke finished tending to his wound, and he slipped into his shirt as Clarke carefully packed her potions back into her bag. His back felt considerably better, but he wasn’t about to tell her that. 

“It isn’t your fault Bellamy, you were just trying to do the right thing.” Clarke said softly, laying a hand on his arm.

He glanced down at her, and Bellamy wanted so badly to believe her in that moment because Clarke was looking up at him with so much compassion in her blue eyes, and for a moment he really did believe her. 

“What happened to your mom wasn’t your fault either.” He heard himself whisper. “She made that choice on her own.” 

Clarke shifted uncomfortably, and he watched the guilt play across her face. “Bellamy...”

“Clarke it wasn’t your fault.” He urged, offering her a reassuring smile. 

Clarke opened her mouth, probably to argue with him, but whatever she had been about to say was drowned out by a loud explosion followed by the shouting of the crew.


End file.
